Hope fulfilled

(pic is my Just Joey roses from last summer-new ones blooming now-click to enlarge)

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. ~ Epicurus

You know, I really hate to admit it but its true. And why do I hate it? Well I suppose its because I have not achieved all that I dreamed. And who ever does? We would be extremely lucky to just come close to a dream right?

So how much of a percentage is it? Unquestionably the quote rings true to a certain extent. Six years ago, I couldnt even comprehend what today would feel like much less understand the implications.

The dream was to touch as many people as I could, teach as many as possible, and enhance their lives in some tiny way. In some good way. To ever so slightly be able to make them feel better about themselves even if that was just a small moment in time. I would say I have done that and more.

I wont dissect how it touched them as that is not the point. Of course I am told you cant make everyone happy, but if it made someone stop and even disagree, it gave me the opportunity to discuss the matter. My heart was always in the right place and the goal was consistently the same. And I would say the dream materialized early on in this one particular adventure.

After that, it was merely enhancing it all….perfecting it daily…..tweaking it and seeing how to do it again and again and again. Engaging the team around me to feel the passion that I felt. Infecting them with the same goals and dreams.

Wow, if you look at it that way its like getting the cute purse you wished for and having the chance to fill it with blessings every day, over and over and over again. Now that’s hope fulfilled. ~ p.hawkins

Bead Unique Tahoe Mountain Bead Retreat !!!

Well its OFFICIAL now! The retreat web site is about ready to go up www.beaduniqueretreats.com and all gorgeous as can be!!! My nerves are completely shot now......yet I am as excited as well.

Having the opportunity to bring education to the masses has and always will be a pure joy to me. It is in my DNA I believe. Teaching and sharing all I know, and helping to bring other educaters to the event is a dream come true for me.

then add to that the education is CREATIVE? Well, what more can you ask for......oh wait, its retreat style so that means pampering and relaxing and fun. Ok .......... now its complete!

So come and share some fun with me in October 1-4 2009 at The Village at Squaw Valley.
Join us for an exclusive Bead Retreat at Squaw Valley Resort & Village in picturesque Lake Tahoe from

Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009–Sunday, Oct. 4, 2009!
Bead Unique magazine presents:

• Three full-day beading classes with world-renowned instructors Sherry Serafini, Beki Haley, and Marcia DeCoster
• Free Unique Workshops with Pamela Hawkins (editor of Bead Unique) and
  CREATE YOUR STYLE Ambassador Laura Timmons
• "Meet the Teachers" Dessert Social
• Free raffles, great food, and resort-style fun for you and the entire family

…PLUS, every attendee will receive a goody bag filled with great beady surprises, courtesy of our sponsors.

The 2009 Bead Unique Tahoe Mountain Bead Retreat Package includes the following:

• Three full-day beading classes with world-renowned instructors Sherry Serafini, Marcia DeCoster, and Beki Haley
• Free unique workshops taught by Pamela Hawkins (editor of Bead Unique Magazine) & Laura Timmons (CRYSTALLIZED™—Swarovski Elements Ambassador). There is limited space, so please sign up when you register to attend.
• Meet the Teachers Dessert Social, sponsored by CRYSTALLIZED™—Swarovski Elements. Come in your best beads and meet the teachers and staff of your 2009 Bead Unique Tahoe Mountain Bead Retreat! We will have a wonderful array of sweet treats to tempt you with! (You might want to eat a little dinner before you come!)
• Morning and afternoon refreshment breaks
• Lunch from Friday–Sunday
• Many weekend-long raffles for amazing products donated by Bead Unique, our generous sponsors, and teachers.
• Friday night Super Fun Surprise Event
• Saturday Pajama Party Night
• Sunday Closing Event: We'll toast you on your safe journey home with champagne or sparking cider (champagne and cider provided by Steele Wines). Final raffles and prizes will be given out
• An "Ugly Beaded Project" contest!
• A gift/tote bag loaded with lots of beady goodies

Well thats the basics.......and the web site goes live at 1 pm ET TODAY!!!!!!

Oh man I cant wait!
Pam

What a day...

Today has been a rather long one. Well to be honest it has been a long few weeks it seems. Put out this fire, or help this problem or FIX this one, or let them yell at you for this thing that you didn't even do, or take the heat for a small thing that turned into a big thing.

It all seemed to just fester. I hate festering. I hate it when a small thing that was manageable 2 weeks ago, is now a big fat sore! Oh that so sucks.

A little band aid a week ago was just not enough though. As hard as I tried to patch it, or figure it out, I couldn't. And you know? sometimes I just don't have all the answers. Oh how I wish I did. I surely do. But there are times, when I cant come up with a solution to save my soul.

Its like a cold. You get allergies now and then and you sniffle and get the runny nose and you blow and rub and you are still not sure if its a full blown cold or not. Do I take allergy medicine or do I grab for the NyQuil and try to KILL IT OFF, you say to yourself as you look in the mirror at a sad, forlorn, wreck of a face! You really don't know until you feel REALLY BAD. Of course by then, the remedy to catch it before it makes you feel like death warmed over is not an option. Oh hell no. You might as well face it. Your taking the Kleenex box to bed with you now baby.

Its like my picture here. Sometimes it is just a tangled mess of stuff. This thread is wound around this one and this vine clings to this. We don't always have control. So I say, give me a gallon size bottle of NyQuil so i can give everyone around me a dose of it so we can catch all this crap before it turns into a red nose! ~ p.hawkins

Some days you just cant please anybody

(click to ENLARGE)

Its one of those days that I wish I had not gotten out of bed. Most of my encounters today have been people who are unhappy with something I did or said.
So far, every single one of them have been complete misunderstandings. Things that were completely resolved the moment I emailed back or called.
Yet, the stabs don't just heal up instantaneously. They sting for a bit.

I will admit I am one of those people who will circle around through the parking lot to exit where there is a street light, instead of the exit 10 feet from my car with no light. It seems to be a fight for position or simply a lesson in how uncaring or unkind people can be when trying to get out into traffic, so I find the non-confrontational exit.
I like to believe everyone is a good person, but when in that situation, it sometimes doesn't always seem evident.

I don't like confrontation. I don't like to be thought of as an unkind person or someone who doesn't care, because that couldn't be farther from the truth, but when you are out in the world, seeing a lot of people and trying to make them ALL happy, there are bound to be people who feel they are experts at reading between the lines. And if I didn't put any words between the lines, then they are left to make them up. Inevitably, their words are not always mine and they are left to invent them.

So I shall try to let it all go and chalk it up to misunderstandings (which is exactly what they are) and try to put out the little flash fires as I can get to them. After all, its just that, misunderstandings.

Still it all feels a little prickly.

Have a great weekend all!
p.hawkins

Listening to my own voice.

Anytime I am looking to somebody else as my source, I'm coming from scarcity. I am no longer trusting God, or the Universe, for my harvest. It's reasonable for me to have expectations based on what somebody I trust has committed to. And it's natural for me to feel disappointed when that somebody doesn't come through. But when I feel more than disappointment, when I also feel anger, it's because I deviated from my truth. It's because I compromised my truth to get what somebody else promised. Because when I'm really following my truth, I will be at peace with the consequences — whatever they are. I can accept somebody else's truth, but I must live my own truth. ~Jan Denise

How the plants are progressing

Hi all!
Well the plants are progressing nicely. However, I want them to grow big and fluffy and FAST! Yes an impatient gardener I am. I confess.
But......all are doing well and I am extremely happy that the sunflower and Cosmo seeds I planted outback are popping out of the ground oh so pretty like!
Take a look see.

Sweet peas coming up nicely and seeds from last years Morning Glories are sprouting all through out! (wonderful bonus) The terra pot of Mint is looking lovely! i have one mint plant that is pure white!


Sweet Pea seeds from moms plants.......are coming up nicely. This is such a great feeeling.


The beans are doing nicely! I hope they climb nice on my make shift trellis.



LOOK LOOK the sunflowers are coming!


From the nursery......and doing well.


A white babies breath plant again from the nursery. I cant wait till they get all fat and fluffy!


Last years Johny Jump Ups.......look how pretty they are coming out!


Strawberry plants are popping out leaves all over.


I already have a Sage flower!

Have a great night all!
p. hawkins

A new BEAD STAR?

Do you feel like a star?
Well in case you dont, here is a perfect way to get some star treatment!

(click here to go to BEAD STAR 2009 Challenge)

Interweave Announces Last Call for Entries to the Bead Star 2009 Challenge

Deadline May 1!
Grand prize is an all-expense paid trip for two to Bead Fest Santa Fe 2010 and $1000 shopping spree from Fire Mountain Gems

Loveland, Colorado, April 15, 2009: Interweave announced today the final
casting call for all beaders and jewelry designers in the United States and
Canada to enter the second annual Bead Star challenge—an exciting
competition with more than ten thousand dollars in prizes and a Grand Prize
all-expense paid trip for two to beautiful Santa Fe for Bead Expo 2010,
$1,000 in beading supplies, and the cover of the new magazine, Bead Star
(www.BeadStar.com).

The deadline to enter is May 1, 2009 and no entry fee is required. "It's as
simple as uploading a photo of your design from our website," says Bead Star
Editor Leslie Rogalski.

Winning entries will be published in the second annual issue of Bead Star, the
first-ever beading publication comprised entirely of prize-winning designs
selected by beaders worldwide, available on newsstands nationwide this
December 8, 2009 from Interweave (www.Interweave.com).

Watch the YouTube.com Slideshow Presentation of the 2008 Winners at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAfXtM8ej0g CLICK HERE to watch.

Beading Daily Editor Michelle Mach describes Bead Star best: "It's like
American Idol for beaders—but better. You won't have to forgo your morning
shower and stand in line with thousands of other sweaty contestants for
days as you wait to audition. Simon Cowell won't be judging the finalists—the
much nicer editors of Beadwork and Stringing will select them. Instead of
phoning in your votes, everyone on Beading Daily—readers from all over the
world—will get a chance to vote online for the winners."

It's Up to the People to Choose the Winners

The editors of Bead Star, Stringing, and Beadwork magazines will select the
top 20 finalists among submissions in each of nine design element categories:
Crystals, Seed Beads, Glass, Pearls, Stones, Metals, Plastics, Designs Under
$25, and Designs with a Heart. Then enthusiasts around the world will be able
to log on to BeadStar.com May 15-30, 2009, and cast their votes for their
favorite designs among the finalists.

"We want real beading enthusiasts from around the world to participate in the
selection process," says Rogalski. "So, after our editors select the finalists,
we'll leave it up to the people to pick the winners."

A first-place, second-place, and third-place winner and two honorable
mentions will be awarded in each of the nine design element categories. All
first place prizes are valued at $500, second place prizes are valued at $300,
and third place prizes are valued at $100. One Grand Prize winner will be
selected by the Grand Prize sponsor, Fire Mountain Gems, from the first-place
category winners. This Grand Prize winner will receive a trip for two to
beautiful Santa Fe for Bead Expo 2010, win $1,000 in cool beading stuff, and
see his or her design featured on the cover of Bead Star magazine.
Bead Star's 2008 Grand Prize Winner

Last year's competition garnered more than 1,000 entries and the finalists
were voted on by nearly 10,000 members of the Beading Daily community.
The Bead Star 2008 Grand Prize winner is Valerie Aharoni, whose project, "Gild
& reGild," was featured on the cover of Bead Star 2008. Aharoni's first-place
project in the Seed Beads category was chosen by Grand Prize Sponsor Fire
Mountain Gems and Beads among the nine first-place category winners.

"The contest was totally no-stress," says Aharoni. "There were no entry fees
and the guidelines were clear. Bead Star made it easy for beginners like me
who have never entered a contest before."

So all my peeps who are beaders..........GO AND PLAY!!!!!

p.hawkins

My first real garden in 10 years.

Well as most of you know already, I have been spending more and more time in the dirt.
I so miss my garden.
I have realized, probably today really, that I have not had a real garden in 10 years. Between moving, and deaths and funerals and new jobs and Mom, I have had very little time to spare, and when I did, I didnt want to do anything fun really.

Last year I sorta eased my way back in......slowly.....getting to know my property and the little areas designated to growing things. These were areas my mom made or my sister and her husband had dug out and set.
After having a fair bit of fun last year with my herbs and NON-TOMATO tomato plants, I decided this year to continue and also to expand.
Oh I didnt know how much, but I knew I was ready again.

So here are my photos from 2 weeks ago, before I left on my trip. This coming week, on a sunny day, I shall get some updated shots for you to see.

Now remember, I garden by the seat of my pants so it is just a love of gardening,
not always the perfect way to garden! hahahh

This is my lavendar I planted last year. It is in a tin bucket and has started sprouting beautifuly.


This is a new patch I dug for my back yard Herb garden and veggies. Yes I want an herb garden in front AND in the back.



This is where Mom's sweet peas were last year. I got it all ready and have both seeds adn plants ready to go in. (they look pretty good now)
The red terracotta pot is 5 different types of Mint! Chocolate Mint, Pineapple Mint, spearmeant and a few others. It smells FAB.



This is a sampling of the herbs that wintered over well. Herbs I have had the pleasure of picking and using in my cooking since last summer. Parsley seems to thrive in the little spot I have it.
I am also amazed at the Celery!
And that has been lovely to pick and throw into a chicken soup pot!



In the back yard, the Mint, I think Spearmint, has come up between the boards on the porch. I love the smell of it.



My tin in the front still has oregano, chives, celery, sage and parsley. although all slowed in growth over the winter, they are sprouting like mad now. A few days of sun and they will do very nicely. I cant wait.



This is the whole front garden where I do the herbs and flowers. The rose garden is to the right. I want to add another row to the rose garden this year too.



My hens and chickens are getting ready to bloom big time. I am not sure what the little dots are on them.......anyone know?



The strawberry plants are just now coming alive too!



I am excited to let you all see this much, and then this week take shots of how it is all doing in two weeks.

So as I said, not the best looking garden, but it soothes my soul to be sure!

HAPPY EASTER to you all.......and many blessings!
p.hawkins

Sissy Cat - Camera Critters # 53

click photo to ENLARGE


My moms cat Sissy

Go over to CAMERA CRITTERS #53 to see more pics of everyones animal pics.

The "honey i'm home" stuff.

Feeling AT HOME is simply that, a feeling in your heart. It can be in your own living room with your feet curled up on the couch, or staying at a friends house for a few days on that princess bed which required a little step to get into, or driving down the road for miles in the car you love, that favorite seat at the movies (all the way to the right and all the way back) or simply nestled in the arms of a best friend. These are all places we feel right at home, and for some a place we never want to leave. ~ p.hawkins

I love that thing where you walk in the door, and as your stepping through you say Honey I'm home!
I suppose my memory of it came from a tv show way back when I was little. Leave it to Beaver or some family show like that. I just know I always loved that saying.

It doesnt have to be the classic husband and wife thing either. Its more of a symbolic saying for me. No matter who is there, it is a way of announcing you are home and hoping there is someone there who cares and is excited to see you. Sort of the TA DA-here I am moment I guess! It doesnt have to be your own home, its just once your there it simply FEELS like home.

There has always been someone I have announced myself to, but in the last 3 years or so, it was Sissy who met me at the door when I came home. Now with everyone gone I hope you dont mind, when I come home weary from my travels and my head full of ideas, with suitcases in hand, that I send you my thoughts and say HONEY I'M HOME to all of you. ~ p.hawkins

Honey I'm home...

Well, it feels like I have been gone for a month, yet it was only a week.
I am home now. I got in late last night and pretty much crashed and finally went to bed.

The drive home, up the Redwood coast, is usually very pleasant for me, but this time I was tired and worn out and wanting to just get home.

After I got in, and unloaded the car, i had to go out and see if the plants had made it through? I tiptoed through the wet grass with my flashlight, and yes they all made it. The sunflower seeds I planted in back dont seem to be sprouting.....but they didnt get regular water so might just be that. But all the rest did ok.

I will dive into the garden this weekend for sure as it says sunny and no rain.
N I C E!

so thought I would just share a little bit of the moss on my bricks......for me it is a delightful bonus to living up here!

Have a great day all! I shall get back into the swing of things in a day or so. (what day is it?) hahah

p.hawkins